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The Great Random Lines Thread Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   Lord Grimm Icon

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 12:22 PM

Everyone has them.
You know, those great, memorable one-liners that somehow need to be remembered or shared with the world. They don't always make sense in context, rarely make sense out of context, but somehow are still funny. Even if it is just for you.
This is where you can share your random lines, the triumph of rhetoric in your lives!
(feel free to even give the story behind it, if it's not too long)

"I just got attacked by a toilet."
-Myself, explaining to my boss what all of the noise coming from the back was.
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#2 User is offline   Dikiyoba Icon

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 01:55 PM

It's a sad state of affairs when you're getting attacked by an inanimate object, Grimm. tongue.gif

"The world is my oyster... and I'm allergic to shellfish."

Dikiyoba heard it in a random skit and decided it was funny enough to be passed along.
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#3 User is offline   Enalya Icon

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 11:55 PM

Purple Cheese

This ones just for me...
Aa' menle nauva calen ar' ta hwesta e' ale'quenle, melloneamin.
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#4 User is offline   Andraste Icon

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 11:56 PM

Dikiyoba: Now I need of convince my cat below come under beneath above the bed. Vinegar and bananas down one night.

Diki in clan chat tonight. What was she on? tongue.gif
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#5 User is offline   Dikiyoba Icon

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Posted 03 July 2007 - 12:01 AM

QUOTE(Andraste)
Diki across clan chat tonight. What was she beyond?

Dikiyoba fixed your typo.
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#6 User is offline   Dintiradan Icon

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Posted 03 July 2007 - 12:11 AM

DM: It's a belt of gender change! You turn into a man!
Player: What? No!
Me: Don't worry. You have a Charisma of four. No one will know the difference.

EDIT: Recent play done by my high school:
King Richard: I hereby strip the Sheriff of Nottingham of his badge, and disown my treasonous brother from the royal family. He shall now be referred to as John, the character former known as Prince.
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#7 User is offline   Parus major Icon

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 02:34 AM

Me, while talking on MSN in different languages, and I decided it was nice to speak some French:

Je m'apelle "Asfalt"
The Wrath of the Elderburry Cheesecake, home of my stuff, including my scenarios, scripts, graphics and the Largas Nephilses grammar and vocabulary guide.

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#8 User is offline   Nalyd Icon

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Posted 05 July 2007 - 09:14 AM

Nalyd has many, many, fantastic one-liners that arose from his lunch talks. As usual, the only one he can remember was a Mencia ripoff.
Not I, said the fly.
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#9 User is offline   Nemesis Icon

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Posted 06 July 2007 - 02:05 AM

Apparently, you didn't see fit to post it.

"That didn't hurt as much as much as I'd have liked it to."

Something I have said many times, but will never say seriously.
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#10 User is offline   No.4Mk1 Icon

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Posted 11 July 2007 - 04:27 PM

Most of the ones I remembered I stuck in my sig.
We as a race have grown complacent with our computers and thinking machines. The Old Ways of thinking have been lost for millennia. Now, they have been found.
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#11 User is offline   Enalya Icon

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Posted 13 July 2007 - 01:38 AM

The murphys law one is missing a bit...it's "What can go wrong will go wrong and at the worst possible moment"
Aa' menle nauva calen ar' ta hwesta e' ale'quenle, melloneamin.
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#12 User is offline   Actaeon Icon

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Posted 26 July 2007 - 08:12 PM

"Because it's my water, asshole." : The most recent line which caused others to laugh, but which I actually meant without mirth. These incidents are incredibly common. Certainly more common than successful jokes. It was said in response to a query as to why I would not give my water to a friend at a restaurant. Note that he already had some.

Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.
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#13 User is offline   Jumpin' Jehosephat Salmon Icon

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Posted 26 July 2007 - 11:43 PM

"Honey, I think you need to fix the planter."

Words spoken after I fell 12 feet off the roof and landed on the planter.

Needless to say I ended up fixing the planter.
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#14 User is offline   Nioca Icon

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Posted 27 July 2007 - 08:04 AM

Ouch. Were you all right?

Anyway, I can't help but notice that you're up on the roof a lot.
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#15 User is offline   Arancaytar Icon

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Posted 29 August 2007 - 05:42 PM

Bumpage, because my sig is full.

"I have a high pain threshold, [...] I can take it, Thuryl." - Stillness
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#16 User is offline   Jumpin' Jehosephat Salmon Icon

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Posted 29 August 2007 - 09:27 PM

Stillness is full of good one-liners.

That he takes so long to say them is to his detriment.
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#17 User is offline   Lord Grimm Icon

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Posted 30 August 2007 - 09:24 AM

That poor kid is going to end up as a bloody pulp of self-inflicted emotional scars before he's done with us, I'm sure.

I had a good one a few days ago: "I have a Dutch Fuzzy and I know how to use it!"
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#18 User is offline   Nemesis Icon

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Posted 17 September 2007 - 02:01 AM

"Someone stop those damn mome raths from outgribing! Decent toves are trying to gyre and gimble around here!"

I dunno. It just came to mind. I saw it somewhere, don't remember where.
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#19 User is offline   Lord Grimm Icon

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Posted 13 January 2008 - 01:34 AM

I have weird friends. This tends to demonstrate itself when we play board games.

Miss Scarlet, I want you to come to the Lounge. Bring a wrench.
Ooh, kinky.

(To Miss Scarlet) I swear, you must have a rope fettish.
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#20 User is offline   Nemesis Icon

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Posted 14 January 2008 - 02:13 AM

"Hey, look at that guy yeah, the bright-looking young individual over there. With his hat sideways. Know what that means? Means he's a badass. Mommy's little badass."
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#21 User is offline   Dintiradan Icon

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Posted 14 January 2008 - 06:22 PM

alias ssh='strace -o /tmp/foo ssh'
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#22 User is offline   Nemesis Icon

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Posted 15 January 2008 - 11:50 PM

"Hey dude, come look at this"
"Don't you 'dude' me!"
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#23 User is offline   Nioca Icon

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Posted 18 January 2008 - 12:56 PM

"Poor cat. Can't even hack up a piece of grass in peace."
- Myself, watching Sydney harass my elderly cat Sasha, who had just finished vomiting up (you guessed it) a piece of grass.
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#24 User is offline   The Lurker Icon

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 08:40 AM

"I am a superhero with three balls. The third ball is engorged and can take the shape of any weapon or defensive item. I am known as Deathticle." - Terror's Martyr
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Posted 26 January 2008 - 03:58 PM

This would fit better in a "Terrible Random Lines" thread... this one comes from a poster I saw a couple of days ago at my university.

"Conflict is a necessary part of the human experience. It is an expression of our individuality."

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw that was an African rebel firing an AK-47 while saying, "I respect your individuality!"
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